Meaghan’s Passion 

Everybody has two constant demands in their lives – shoulds and musts. Shoulds hold us from musts. Meaghan’s must is riding. Riding is her passion. Riding is when she feels most alive and passionate. For her this is what she has to do to feel complete and alive. Those who find their musts hold on to them and their lives are fuller and deeper and have more meaning. Shoulds have a time and place and will always make demands on our time. Become aware of the voice of your must! It will only make you happier. I.am a teacher but I have to say that being a teacher is not my must. Being a teacher is not the sum total of my identity. If there ever came a time where I could no longer be a teacher then I am absolutely confident that I could and would continue 100% being exactly who I am. I am not what I do. I do what I am. My must is being a poet. My must is to read the great writings that the greatest writers have written and to try to create new poems that express the future and that may be read in the future. Either way I will write them and they will make me happy, full and alive and the words will live on long after I am gone.

P.A.F.M.

Words of Wisdom 

I heard a quote from Bruce Springsteen and it has stayed in my mind for day so it is worth writing down. This is what he said – “I am convinced that every artist has been told that they are the greatest at least once and they have also been told that they are worthless at least once and they believed it both times.”

 I have been criticized and praised and I have believed both. Criticism is not always truth since it is often based on opinion. Above all I try to get myself to remember that honesty and truth are not synonomous. I plan to keep writing!

P.A.F.M. 

A Voice in the Wilderness

Do you hear yourselves? 

Do you know what you are saying? 

What you are looking for cannot be found where you look!

Why do you expect to find love where there is only lust and percersion? 

Why do you expect to find good where there is only evil where you look? 

Do you even realize what you do?

Do you know that you call to me as if I have changed?

Do you not see the path you are on as opposed to the one that I have laid out for you? 

What about the long line of wreckage that you have left behind you? 

What about the brokenness that you have caused and then done nothing about? I

You will ask – when have we done this? And I will answer you!

When you fail to help the homeless and the hungry then you turn your back on me! 

When you fail to help and heal broken spirits that you have thrown away you have shut the door upon my kingdom!

Every time you tie up heavy burdens on those outside of your walls and refuse to lift a finger to help you push me away from yourselves!

Every time.you use hands that strike and hurt to consecrate my sacraments you slap hands away from doing the work that maintains my creation! 

Every time you hold your head up and think that you are the center you sin against my commandments and desires! 

You will ask – What is it that you want and I will tell you! 

I say to take your home and scriptures and live them everyday!

Sing them in your actions and in what you do to those that no one remembers!

Take the real heartfelt feeling meaning of my sacraments and wear them on your heart and then let their light shine on the places that never get seen. 

when you stand under the sky look and wait for my spirit and as it falls and descends catch it and hold it close and then when it flourishes give it away to the ones who need it most!

See the little girl you have left broken and afraid? 

She shakes and cries while she looks off into the distance.

Go to bed and hold her close, dry her tears and give her my spirit – what you have done cannot be fixed with money!

Bring gentle hands and kind words. 

See the boy boy you left in the dark.corner of the room? 

Go to him and then over all you have to make him whole!

When you leave him there you turn your back on me! 

Bring him to my house and show him the mercy that has been denied by unfeeling men who have shown they do not care.

Open the door and let him in! 

Understand that he is mine too! 

For that child is more worthy of the kingdom than you are!

II. Likes Wolves 

Like Wolves! 

Hungry, wild wolves that stalk with their lean bodies panting and focusing their eyes on their prey!

How can you stand back and hide the rape of children in the name of the reputation of the church?

How can any of you escape damnation?

You! You who satisfy your needs at the expense of innocence and you who perpetuate their sin by keeping silent!

Doo you think that you can hide behind your red robes?

Do you think that your office is your immunity?

You, who turn a blind eye to.crime and make your power your sexuality!

You whose hearts are as cold as the stone in the church you built and so him whose walls you now try to hide!

Do you think that the sacraments that are blessed by you have any power when the hands sent to extend my grace are used to choke out the wonder and innocence of my children?

You should be on your knees!

You should be getting for their forgiveness!

Instead you shut and lock the doors to the kingdom.and then hide behind your power and priveledge!

Where is the justice in what you do?

Have Youngstown that it is my law you Have offended?

Do you think that your insence and robes have any meaning to me?

Can you who gives blessings also sin? 

You are like wolves!

You wait and you stalk!

You watch and you pick out the weakest ones! 

Surrounding yourselves with the strength of the pack and then stalk around in darkness and evil.

You make escape impossible and when the prey is exhausted you to in for the kill! 

You have murdered their souls and wiped the filth away with their innocence! 

III. A Voice in the Wilderness

When will you know what I am after?

When will you stop pretending and going through useless motions that lead nowhere and add up to nothing.

When will you reach out with hands that heal and not fists that hurt and turn away the offended?

You have turned me away from.where I am needed most! 

You have consented to tyranny and pushed away all who you should hold up to the highest position! 

You ignore my laws and create your own.

Laws that pay foolish attention to details and leave out the heart of the equation.

Words that fly out of printed books and rehash magical.formulas that leave out the essence of the mystery you pretend to celebrate! 

You all remain drunk and seduced by power.

IV. A Harvest of Ice 

The ice count to everything on that January morning.

All the houses were empty and there was nothing growing anywhere.

Barren, because of the destruction you have yielded!

God says – “I have put the seasons into motion and their paths follow the directions of my thoughts!

I have let the ice cover everything as a sign to everyone to understand that the treatment that some.have received from the hands of the holy have frozen their souls and crushed them with grief!

Their lives are frozen and constantly cold, anguish that is a covering over their efforts to heal. 

Their souls have been murdered by a killing frost they never saw coming! 

I went to lie down as the icy blanket covered the grass.

The chill thickened my blood and the morning air stilled my breath and made it hard to remember the past.

I.slipped into a tired and restless sleep that went on and on with no relief.

The cold chill of predator hands on the innocent has taken hold of many hearts.

They squeeze and the life ebbs away to be replaced by a survival instinct that is born of deep betrayal!

The ice that is born of this harvest and killing frost descends from the cold response of those in power!

Planted dreams that whither and die are the decoration of your reaping and then stone cold cathedrals that you inhabit!

Ice.

where there should be warmth and compassion!

Ice.

Reaped and down where the word should take root and your answers should be swift and centered on justice!

Ice. 

Every time you take money meant for the poor and hire people to get you out of trouble you cause betrayal anew and allow.grudges to grow!

Ice.

That freezes out the covenant of old and new and unleashes new hates that fail to heal the broken!

Ice. 

Colder than the thirty pieces of silver that betrayed the Lord and handed him into the hands of sinners! 

Ice.

That freezes justice and makes a mockery out of common sense!

Ice. 

That travels and knocks on the hearts of victims who are frozen in their pain and then stepped on as you walk away! 

Ice.

As barriers to make little ones stumble and fall and then it is almost impossible to.stand up again! 

What is sown is what is reaped!

What is this harvest that you have planted going to give you?

There is no Spring in the world that you have created!

He.has told you what you should do.

Follow the example of service and sacrifice.

Create a place where power is not it’s own reward and narcissism does not grow in fertile soil.

Show what he meant by what you do and stop hiding behind the authority of your office!

You cannot show your devotion to him by very vestments and praying over an altar.

You must live with your heart in the right place.

Become like lambs and open not your mouths to speak!

V. Sinners 

You who have taken the seal of a sacrament to.elevate your earthly status to the divine make him shake his head and cry out in anguish for those you have left behind!

Doors that have closed with a resounding thud that falls on the zoo my ears of those who have stayed on the inside and in that burst of apathy comes the extension of a cold hand that is shaped into a fist instead of the mercy of him who sent you!

Have you not seen?

Have you not heard?

Have you not been taught? 

You have but you chose power over love and your pleasure over the truth.

You have been told but you have turned a dead ear and cradled secrecy instead of victims and money instead of contrition and you hierarchy instead of his words! 

You have profaned the sacred and made that which is evil into a virtue!

You have used hands meant to consecrate my sacraments to abuse and murder the center of innocence!

You have heard but have turned away!

You have seen but turned away!

You have been taught but you have forgotten!

You will ask God: what is my sin?

God will answer: you are a disgrace to justice and all that honors those you have hurt! 

You have lifted perversion so that it is worshipped and bred into continuance!

You have murdered innocents times infinity and destroyed my image in their broken eyes!

You have forced your members to become undedeveloped predators that dont see people in my image but rather as objects for pleasure.

Then you made it easier for them by placing them out of the reach of law enforcement.

Kneel and ask forgiveness!

Kiss the ground that your victims have been forced to walk on and let the rightful shame you have planted grow into full bloom, take it onto yourself and wrestle it to death.

It belongs to you but you have given it to them. 

Bring it to you and take it from them: it is your creation that lingers in the air and causes them to stumble while you watch and then fail to lift a finger to help.them! 

You! Who sits to forgive sins but sin yourselves to even greater heights than have ever been known!

You! Who transubstantiate and hide behind the thin facade of orders and consecration that Can never hide what you have done! 

You! Who decree and decree and then forget the mercy that I have asked you to live by! 

The altar is empty.

There is nothing there and it sits cold as ice.

This is where you sacrifice to me with hearts that are so far away and full of deceit! 

You cannot hide behind this holy place and continue to desecrate this holy place as if the laws Don t apply to you! 

You cannot run free and still claim all authority over the morals that form the foundation of my church!

You cannot build my house and then dedicate it to desolation! 

You cannot abuse your position and climb the ladder of .power on the backs of the ones you have destroyed! 

Why do you demand all things begin in my name but then murder the souls of those you abuse for pleasure! 

VI. Destruction of Innocence 

Woe to you! 

Dressed in red and called a.prince.

Woe to you! 

Why I hold damnation over men but cannot see yourselves standing on the edge.

Woe to you! 

Who bless and consecrate and then turn to crime and swear innocence with the same hands.

Woe to you! 

Charged to protect the innocent but then violate them instead.

Woe to you!

Who turn God’s confessional into your own perverted playground.

Woe to you!

Hiding behind technical law and then destroying justice.

Woe to you! 

Who prey upon the guilt of innocents and then exalt your own self at the expense of others!

The day will come.when God will demand an explanation! 

He will set you straight on that day!

He will call on you to.answer for the innocents that you have destroyed and on that day he will remind you that he is God! 

VII. A Voice in the Wilderness

Come down off your self made thrones, kneel and ask.for mercy!

Stop ignoring my commands and acting as if you have done nothing wromg.

Clean him the mess that you have made so that I can return to you and stay near and not be thrown away.

The wreckage that is piled up behind you is looming closer and closer to the coming end of your reign!

Your reign of perversion!

Your reign of constant, sneaky, underhanded cover ups!

Your reign of insulting victims!

Your reign of hypocrisy and exclusion is falling down all around you! 

Your reign of blackness and desecration that has ruined all your names! 

Your reign of secrecy is going to be uncovered! 

Coming to an end! 

From those ashes I will rebuild without the input that you hold for yourselves and exclude all others from.

I will rebuild and place new stones where the old ones have been torn down. 

I will bring back the ones that you have desecrated and front of you I will display the folly of your ways!

I will judge you in the way that you have judged the ones that you have turned away!

They will stand with me and your hardened hearts will know my judgement and then you will understand! 

For you cannot stay where you are and continue on the folly that you have germinated and the bliss that you revel in. 

Your harvest is secrecy, because what you have sown is a crime against all you should stand for!

VII. Truth 

Justice begins with an honest reflection on the nature of the offense!

The ones you have hurt have been shut away only to keep company with the monsters you have saddled them with!

They have been condemned without trial because of your percersion. 

You have given the power over men’s souls to fallible men dressed in robes but void of humanity and the Savior ‘s compassion. 

You stand and point when you should be kneeling and averting your eyes away from those you have offended.
You are the ones who stand back and let all others folow rules that you yourselves ignore!

You are the one’s who consecrate to me but never practice what you say!

My words mean nothing to you!

My words are spoken by dead mouths and fall upon dead ears!

Your reliance on ritual had no meaning to me.

Justice must be done and spoken in words of truth then and only then will justice be done.

Admit that you have sinned!

Bless you father for you have sinned!

You hide behind locked doors!

Do you remember?

The nightmares that your actions created and how they were born from your perversion?

Bless you rather for you have sinned!

You hold fear out to your victims and shut yourselves out of the Kingdom of heaven!

You have created mental prisons for the price of your pleasure.

What dark and empty place were you born from?

Bless you father for you have sinned!

You have withheld absolution from the trembling child!

You swear on high that you are set apart and have sacred vows!

You have locked away their souls, you have murdered them and the whole time you scheme to escape justice!

Bless you father for you have sinned 

You have consecrated actions of evil! 

You have taken the light out of their eyes and replaced it with despair!

VII. A.Voice in the Wilderness

I will cha be what has happened and will then remake all th T has been destroyed into my image and it will stand forever!

It will last forever and it will always be looking forward because the times that are gone will never matter again to qnyone!

From this wreckage and ashes New life will grow and the old ones will die and their death will be the comfort of those who have been left behind! 

For those who held themselves to privilege have already had their abundance their lives have been lived and their thirst has been quenched!

They will face away and decrease but I will last forever! 

THE END

Don’t mistake my kindness for weekness!

I know what has been done in my name and this will not last forever!

The days are coming when I will make all things new again!

You have gone to long thinking that I am weak and you are strong!

What you see as my silence is not weakness!

What you think you have hidden – I have seen!

The ones you have offended have not been forgotten by me – they belong to me!

The day is surely coming when you will be forced off of your thrones and while kneeling before God you will at one for what you have done!

You have made a mockery of what should be done and perverted the justice that is healing!

You who looked around corners and down deserted hallways to hide your actions forgetting that I know all, I see all and I will fix all!

You have twisted and broken lives apart and then walked over the wreckage by hiding what you did!

You have used your authority, claiming it came from me and then mitigated horrible horrible wrongs then dated to e man d forgiveness while not being willing to give it yourselves!

You have assumed that your station is your excuse and your power can extend your cover up but their time is coming and yours is ending!

T.S. Deary