Don’t Speak (out loud)

"These things they go away... replaced by yesterday."
Micheal Stipe 

Don't open your mouth young man, 
just let it be, 
there is no need to bring it up again. 

This obsessive secrecy, 
this need to remain quiet, 
this passive aggressive pageant, 
nothing gets resolved. 

Award winning acting on a lighted stage, 
widespread conversation, 
only never with the one who needs to hear it, 
growing resentment, 
all these thoughts that will never be let go. 

Just check the boxes, 
control the emotions, 
the reign of resentment, 
shattered bonds, 
shattered brotherly relationships. 

Don't speak, 
keep your thoughts to yourself, 
Don't speak, 
waves will rock this boat. 

Don't speak, 
let those secrets fester. 
Who are you anyway? 
no one cares what you have to say, 
beside the point, 
all is over now, 
and these things are not worth taliking about. 

Someday you will know all, 
as I do now, 
just how blind we all were all along. 

We were so sure that we would never be like them, 
yet here we are, 
exactly like them, 
knowing all along, 
no one understood. 

This is not and has never been about a sum of money or some empty house, 
not about a desire to hold on to something that is not mine, 
no windfall to come my way, 
there is only the echoe of what was, 
and what is now, 
all these echoes bouncing off of empty walls, 
soemtimes silently spoken in this long and empty silence that has settled in between us, 
with those verbal slights, 
once made through clenched teeth, 
still never known to have been spoken, 
just a long and lonely silence, 
of ongoing bitterness that marks the passage of time. 

Until time fades and the memories relax, 
and that blame that flies around in the minds of others, 
will come to roost and until the day comes when it will fly back to me to rest on my shoulders, 
and all along, as always, we will never really understand, 

Glittering generalities, 
this propaganda of tradition, 
less than honest self evaluation, 
reflection of memory.

Mother may I?
Mother may I? 
please be relieved from all this tension.

(just as long as you don't say anything, nothing at all, not even sorry.) 

T.S. Deary 
1/8 - 1/18/24