That’s me in the corner

It was so offensive to when when the results of the test were sahred out loud, 
the way you leaned back in your chair, 
that sarcasm dripping from you lips, 
that smirk upon your face. 

Did you notice that I did not bite the baited hook that you threw my way? 
Did you notice that I refused to play the game? 

This need you have to elevate yourself at the expense of others?
Did you notice how quiet I am and how I never relinquish my dignity at your command? 

These games that prop up your fragile ego, 
so childish and predictable, 
so glorified by compliments, 
so eager to eat them up before anyone else can respond. 
so much to say, so many words, nothing for anyone else to realte to, 
just keep talking and the words will fall where they will, while the rest of us sit and warch in awe. 

All of us, 
amazed and wishing that we all had waht you have, 
living and breathing the things that we all hope for, 
so much to be learned just by watching you, 
so much to gain just by listening to you, 
Oh! to be you for a day! 
to sit where you sit, 
to be lost and found all at once, 
so in need of grace but never able to say so, 
or able to give it to others, 
always on the prowl to be told that you are the best and then hiding away once your pointed words shot off, 
turning to reload. 

Then there is me, 
over there in the corner, 
away from your constant need for complements, 
and the subtle ways you fish for them, 
sometimes the smartest person in the room is not the loudest, 
sometimes the smartest person in the room is the quietest one. 

That's me in the corner, 
taking it all in and quietly, 
realizing how much you love the spotlight, 
sitting there in the center of the room, 
not over by me in the corner, 
where the only validation comes from within, 
where the voice you hear is one of self validation, 
the only voice that can really be relied on. 

That's me in the corner, 
wondering when the words you speak will slow down so someone else will be able to get in a word or two? 

From the corner, 
I can see the whole room, 
I can see who is watching and who is not, 
me, 
there in the corner, 
quiet, 
remembering everything said, 
and everything answered, 
no noise from me, 
no objections, 
only remembrance. 

T.S. Deary 
1/18 - 1/19/24